A Step in Grief

"I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps."
-Jer 10:23

There are days that we all have that are, in a profound understatement, "Difficult".  During those hours we wish we were someplace else or maybe even someone else altogether.  Hearing that someone you care for has died is never easy, be it expected or not.  Time seems to stop and merely pile up.  Cruel irony in a loved one's passing.

At the beginning of the month we had a week in our church which saw multiple deaths, including a dear sister in Christ who we all often prayed for.  Taken in the prime of life, she left not only a husband, but a young family behind in grief.  We all grieve with them, our silent mornings remembering her sweet voice so often singing praise during Sunday worship.  A near daily reminder to lift her mourning family up in prayer.

In what can only be felt as unkind timing, during that week I was informed that a  co-worker in ministry has the same mortal disease.  Then during one of the week's meetings, a fellow minister shared the senseless murder of a wife in a foreign land.  I reflect on how these families faced not only a bad week, but months and years of churning emotion.  By end of day Friday I was asked to pray for no less than four other friends from various circles who are leaving their jobs for uncertain futures.  A grief of a different sort.

I guess I could wish that week would've been different.  Somehow to have had less bad news.  But if I thought so for myself, how much more each of my friends!   I imagine how each would want to see things turn out differently.  To direct their lives in such a way that turmoil, grief and heavy emotion be sidestepped.  Avoided.

In a divine appointment, someone I had avoided earlier in that week pulled me aside.  Completely unaware of what was happening in my circles, he shared how he had recently made a tremendous discovery after coming through a similar time in his life years earlier.  God, he explained, had meant it to touch him in a profound way, to his ultimate benefit.  He now greatly valued what had happened to him, though at the time it was sore bitter.   A costly treasure, I thought to myself.  There is no other way to acquire what he had now, he added.

During the memorial service later that week one of the pastors present mentioned that sometimes God takes that which is most precious to us in order to make room to give us more of Himself.  That is wisdom.  But I would think that few are those who are strong enough to live that out.  I would also think that over the coming months and years each of my friends will find out if they do.   I would also think that over a lifetime, every one of us (myself included) will join them in that.  Not something to look forward to necessarily, but perhaps something to look back on much later and be the better for it.

Accomplishment

Normally it isn’t seen as news when someone gets hired and quits within the year.  It is usually seen as a sad indicator of their lack of fortitude (because they wouldn’t stick it out for at least a couple of years) or lack of planning (because they should have known about the job conditions and requirements prior to taking it).  But this week we witnessed the world-wide reporting of someone quitting after 7 months, and the whole world recognizes the ceasing of that work as pure integrity.

Yesterday, Kofi Annan announced he is stepping down as the UN’s Syria peace envoy. In doing so he said, "I accepted this task, which some called 'mission impossible,' because I believed it was a sacred duty to do whatever was in my power to help the Syrian people find a peaceful solution to this bloody conflict."  Faced instead with a rapidly escalating conflict, which at the time of this writing is now a full scale civil war, Annan said, “'When the Syrian people desperately need action, there continues to be finger-pointing and name-calling in the Security Council.”  In the end, Annan quit not because of the Syrian conflict itself or it’s nature, but because the very same people who tasked him with the role of peace envoy to start with were unwilling to act on that same initiative when it really mattered.  A cynical observer might say Kofi’s role was really just a diversion.

So now the world waits to see who can take Annan’s place.  To see who is qualified enough and “crazy” enough (Annan’s phrase) to spend their days to accomplish nothing while thousands of people are slaughtered, hundreds raped and millions left homeless.  Fortunately, Kofi has too much integrity to stand in that role.  Nevertheless, the person who is willing to do that will be handsomely paid for accomplishing absolutely nothing.  That shouldn’t surprise us.  The world often rewards those who divert our attention from what is really important.  Hollywood makes multimillionaires out of anyone who can ignore the world around them enough to pretend and take our minds off what matters.  There are exceptions or course, but largely we pay to waste our time watching their output - things that do not impact us in any meaningful way.  Does Facebook add to your life or distract from it?  Does Youtube?  Twitter?  Much of what we currently ‘value’ in the economy of our world is ultimately a distraction from what eternally matters.

If only we can get our minds off that which distracts!  All around us real people are needing our help every single day.  All around us real people are dying and literally going to hell while we hold the keys to the Kingdom of heaven.  We can and must take advantage of the opportunities that surround us all day long.  As Horace said, “Carpe diem!”  But carpe diem for my sake or for other’s sake?