Jacob had
left Laban behind – the grief of working for that taskmaster who kept making up
the rules as he went along - was over.
God had told him to leave, and he had left. But he had snuck away in the middle of the
night, and Laban had pursued him. Yet
even that was over. God had spoken to Laban in a dream and protected Jacob from
violence. The angels of God had met him
at Mahanaim, and Jacob was certain that his reunion with his family would be a
happy occasion. To make that certain and
give himself the additional peace of knowing it to be fact, he sent messengers
ahead of himself. But, “When the messengers returned to Jacob, they
said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four
hundred men are with him.”” [1] What did that mean? Surely it meant that Esau had not forgotten
Jacob’s own treachery in stealing his birthright. Surely it meant that his brother would have
vengeance. But would his own flesh and
blood – his own brother - commit the sin of Cain? Such thoughts can weigh heavy, and the more
you think of potential grief, the more real it becomes in your mind.
The Word
records his anguish, “In great fear and
distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the
flocks and herds and camels as well. He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks
one group, the group that is left may escape.”[2] That done, he remembers God’s presence with
him and commits himself to prayer. “Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father
Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O Lord, who said to me, ‘Go back to your
country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ 10 I am
unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I
had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups.
11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am
afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12
But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your
descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’ ” [3]
One might
think that reminding himself of God’s promise would be enough. But it was not. Fear still ruled Jacob’s heart. He devises a plan to appease his brother, and
sends ahead an exceedingly generous gift of livestock. To add impact to the gift, he sends it ahead
in five separate herds, each with the same message. Surely such a great gift must temper the
anger of even the most vengeful! But in
spite of having taken these two precautions, he still cannot sleep. What if the gifts don’t appease Esau at all –
what if they instead fuel his anger at Jacob for having stolen the blessing
that resulted in all this abundance?
Jacob gets up in the middle of the night and sends his family across the
stream ahead of him. He purposes to be
alone when his brother meets him. Still
he cannot rest. There is yet one thing
to do.
As you read
through the Scripture, you are bound to come to parts that speak about people
struggling in prayer before the Lord.
Jacob’s wrestling match is perhaps one of the earliest and most blatant
examples of this – what the saints of old called ‘anguish of soul’. But it is far from an isolated case. The Psalmist wrote, “I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I
pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble.” [5] Ezekiel was so overcome with anguish that he
called out to the Lord to take his life.
In the New Testament, we see Christ’s anguish in the garden of Gethsemane
as perhaps the finest example of this same principle. A prayer of anguish is a prayer born out of
deep loss and/or profound sadness. In
Jacob’s case, he was physically wrestling with God, but he was also wrestling
with the turbulent realization that his life decisions of past, his present
circumstances and God’s timeless grace were all catching up with him at the
same time. Recall his dad’s long-ago-but-not-forgotten
preference for his brother Easu. Recall Laban’s
all-too-recent treachery. Recall the present
circumstance, that in just a few short hours Jacob would have to face his
deep-seated mix of fear and distrust at Esau.
Yet for all that, God was clearly with him and not Esau. What a confusing mix of history, circumstance
and emotions! How was it that God was
surely with him, and yet he was constantly facing danger – both that of his own
making and that of others?
Some people
say that the Kingdom of God is one of peace and ease of mind, even this side of
glory. But all who walk in the Kingdom here
know all too well that walking by faith requires courage, strength of character
and perseverance. It very often appears it
is anything but ease of mind, and those who purpose to see significant advances
in the Kingdom of God know with certainty that they just don’t come about
without real and personal effort. God is
for us, but He is also neither a vending machine nor a Santa Claus. When circumstances seem dire and there is
nothing left to do but pray, pray we must.
It is then as we pray that we come to the end of ourselves. No longer resting on our own wit, wealth and
words, we have no choice but to give ourselves wholly to the One who
providentially controls circumstance itself.
In the divine transaction, He takes who we are, and gives us back who He
made us to be.
“Then the man said, “Your name will no longer
be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have
overcome.”” [6]
Amen. May we likewise overcome through our own
struggle in prayer. “Weeping may remain for a night, but
rejoicing comes in the morning.” [7] Amen.
[1] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ge 32:6). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
[2] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ge 32:7–8). Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan.
[3] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ge 32:9–12). Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan.
[4] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ge 32:24). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
[5] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ps 142:1–2). Grand Rapids, MI:
Zondervan.
[6] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ge 32:28). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
[7] The Holy Bible:
New International Version. (1984). (Ps 30:5). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
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